The Distant Father


Papa, can you hear me? Father’s Day is fast approaching. For some people, finding a gift for Dad can be just as hard as making a connection with him. Here’s a cocktail you can mix your fathers that might bring a slight smile to their faces and ease the awkwardness of small talk over a baseball game.

What you’ll need:

• Scotch Whiskey   • Drambuie   • A lemon   • Ice   • Old fashioned glass   • A martini shaker

  • Step 1: To begin this cocktail, add ice to your martini shaker. This drink should be cold, like your father’s general demeanour.
  • Step 2: Add two ounces of Scotch Whiskey over the ice. I chose two as its the same number of words your father responds with when you try to open up to him.
  • Step 3: Now that the Scotch Whiskey is chilling, drizzle an ounce of Drambuie into your shaker. I chose a full ounce because you’ve probably disappointed him enough by half assing things in life.
  • Step 4: Once this is done, add a splash of lemon juice to your shaker. This will add a hint of sourness, similar to your father’s reaction when you wanted to take dance lessons rather than join a football team.
  • Step 5: Mix your drink by shaking it back and forth, like your father’s head when he made you play soccer and you spent most of the game picking dandelions to arrange a bouquet.
  • Step 6: Add ice to your old fashion glass and gently pour your cocktail into the glass. Be quiet with this! He’s trying to read the same book for a third time!
  • Step 7: Decorate the glass with a thinly sliced lemon garnish to show effort and hopefully gain your father’s approval.
  • Step 8: Serve to your father, wish him a Happy Father’s Day, and await a two word response. Could today be the day you get three? Fingers crossed!

Now go make a second drink for yourself and remedy those daddy issues!