Heroine’s Lit Chilli
Whether it’s on nachos, hot dogs, or its own meal, Chilli is both delicious and fun to make! It’s best eaten on a cold winters night, when you’re home alone with no one to judge the strength of your farts. So let’s whip up a batch right now, cannolis! Make sure you have Tupperware handy so you can freeze the left overs for another day!
What You’ll Need:
• 2 lbs of ground beef • 2 white onions • chilli powder • hot sauce • 6 garlic gloves • 1 can of tomato sauce • 4 cans of diced tomatoes • 1 can of kidney beans with sauce • salt • pepper • 2 green pepper • 4 chilli peppers • Olive oil • Jack Daniels
Step 1: Lets do our veggie prep first. Dice up two white onions, 2 green peppers, and mince 6 cloves of garlic. Garlic will add tremendous flavour and guarantee you remain single.
Step 2: Drizzle olive oil into a large stock pot and swirl it around. Ensure it completely lubes up the bottom. Get your mind out of the gutter!
Step 3: As the pot begins to heat on medium high, add in your two pounds of ground beef, chopped peppers, diced onions, and minced garlic. Using a spatula, separate the beef to help it cook faster. Stir occasionally to ensure there is no burning. Nothing ruins a night like burnt meat in your mouth. Cook on medium high until the beef is as brown as whiskey. Actually, that’s a good idea. Toss in two shots of Jack Daniels as marinade.
Step 4: Once your beef is fully cooked and has mingled long enough with Mr. Daniels, drain the ingredients to remove any excess oils. Add the ingredients back into your pot.
Step 5: Add in 1 can of tomato sauce, 4 cans of diced tomatoes, a few dashes of salt and pepper, 2 tablespoons of chilli powder, and 2 table spoons of hot sauce. I like my chilli spicy, and want my mouth to match my last relationship: no feeling left.
Step 6: Set the burner to high so the chilli can begin to boil. Try to break up the diced tomatoes as you stir the pot, like your best friend’s relationship with that guy you couldn’t stand. Cover until the chilli is at its boiling point.
Step 7: Once the chilli is boiling, turn your stove dial to simmer. Make several small incisions into your chilli peppers and plop them in. Let them float on top of the chilli so their juices can flow out and they can be removed easier. Let the chilli cook on simmer for an hour, stirring occasionally to avoid any burning.
Step 8: After an hour, add in your beans or ‘toot fruit’. Continue cooking on simmer for another 20-25 minutes.
Step 9: Remove the pot from the burner and place on counter top trivet or a cooler burner on the stove. Using a spoon remove the four chilli peppers floating at the top.
Step 10: Let your chilli sit and cool down for 10-15 minutes before serving. When you plate the chilli, garnish with a handful of shredded cheese.